The Banquette

This past Monday night we had our banquet. Most host schools have a banquet at the start of the year to honor their foreign teachers. It was absurd. I know that this is a word that I use a lot but it most accurately describes so many of my experiences here. Here is the whole concept. They get a bunch of liquor called by-joe(in English phonetics) and just take a ton of shots to honor each guest. The communist party secretary, Secretary Nan, was the ring leader and ultimately the drunkest one there. He went around and had a word and shot with each teacher, but in order for him to get better bang for his buck he would make whomever he was talking to take several shots before he took the one with them. It did not end with one round. 

Other Chinese teachers started toasting us as well. I cannot overstate how into this Secretary Nan was. Using someone as a translator he made several speeches, most of which were on the benefits of becoming a raging alcoholic. He made his strongest argument while asking us, “Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be wealthy? Do you want to be pleasant? Do you want to be good-looking?... Then drink By-Joe.” Point to Secretary Nan. Who doesn’t want to be pleasant? 

All of the Chinese teachers were on board with this circus of a meal. I mean they are likes sharks with blood in the water. If they see weakness they go for the kill. One of my colleagues from Michigan who admittedly doesn’t drink very much was really having a hard time with this hazing, but that only made them want to see him drink more. He was very reluctant to which they would say, ”Just do your best!”, offering him no real out at all. What does that even mean? Take the shot, and do your best to make it to the bathroom?

Another point of interest was how the Chinese “liquid” compared to American “liquid.” All things considered I would have to say that by-joe tastes like tequila, vodka, and cotton candy strained threw a gym sock. It is raw. In the end the banquet was a lot of fun, a huge source of entertainment, and a very kind gesture.